Comments

BiTTERPiiNK@ 7:16pm 01-30-2009
Absolutely hilarious. Thank you for providing such a great summary of those pitiful excuses for a book. Bravo.
Graycon@ 1:00am 01-30-2009
three cheers for you good sir.
i've never finished the first book and never will.
your summary helps to save our money, time and brain cells. meyer has to be burned slowly along with her sparkling glampire books.
Kiss the Cadaver@ 6:12pm 01-29-2009
Absolute pwnage.
Skullfuxxx@ 5:05pm 01-29-2009
Yeah... that was win mostly because most of it is in the book, much like you stated in your side-note-thingy.
I still can't get over the fact that a fangirl who writes as good as some little girlie on Fanfiction.com is making millions. But she wrote for a targeted audience, giving them beautiful characters with close to no personality, full of mushy gush and everything girls from 13-18 would want.
We is to burn her now kthnx.

// Skullfux ur bum
8D
Luxraen Fury@ 10:24am 01-29-2009
Muahaha. Those summaries were pure genius. I've actually been thinking of red-penning a copy of Twilight or just rewriting it so that it doesn't suck. Maybe I'll do that now.

Also, lawl, I see you in the CB all the time. (I mostly lurk.)
Darth@ 4:40am 01-29-2009
BA HA!

I commend you for getting to the end! I read the first 11 chapters of Twilight, and skipped to the end. I don't think I missed anything.

I made my own re-write a few weeks ago:

Edward: I have to show you what happens when I go in the sun. *Sparkles*
Bella: It's bright. Beautifully bright. Blindingly bright. OH GOD IT BURNS! IT BURNS! I'M BLIND! I CAN'T LIVE IF I CAN NO LONGER LOOK UPON YOUR PERFECTNESS! *Jumps off cliff*
Edward: I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOOOOOH! *Tears self apart with superstrength*
Twilight lovers: NOO! *jump off cliffs*
Twilight Haters: Now there's just one thing left... *Go to stephanie meyer's house*
Stephanie Meyer: Likez, watz uop?
Twilight haters: *Shoot her in face*

And so ends Twilight. You win at life.
Nainai@ 4:35pm 01-28-2009
Oh LAWD. I lol'd so hard I read them twice.

I'm so going to spread this to my friends xD!
Thanks for the great 'summary' of the stupid :'D I <3 You forever, but I promise not to stalk you on Gaia TOO much.

-Nainai Kagoyuchi (Gaiatardddd) :B
Felik@ 10:31pm 01-27-2009
I've never read Twilight but from what i've heard about it, and what you stated in this summery, it sounds like whatevertheauthorsnameis overemphasized the sparkly gay vampire antics and the stereotypical lovestruck bitchy teenage girl douche.
:U
Lovely parody.
userlame@ 4:54am 01-27-2009
I'm sorry sir, but this is too awesome for the internet. jks.

But seriously, I just about pissed myself laughing. I wanted to pour acid on my eyes when my gf made me read the book. And the movie made the book look awesome. So cheers to Twilight. The book that single-handedly brought about humaities downfall.

I respect the idea that she had in mind. Sparking though? Just... No.
anonymous@ 8:33am 01-26-2009
entertaining!
and renesme .. wtf kind of name is that!
excellent point 'winii-chan' whoever you are.. someone should send meyer a thesaurus, or remove the limited one she has from her plump fingers.
And 'sylvine', it's not just the books, her writing leaves a certain..talent to be desired, case in point 'The Host', improvement but definitely still .. crap.

nice.....
nooblet@ 8:24am 01-26-2009
MEYER = PWND !!!!!!!!!!!!
winii-chan@ 6:20am 01-26-2009
oooh i salute you sir! meyer has a terrible vocabulary. how many fucking times did she have to use the words chagrin or appraised!?!?
feel free to pm/comment or whatever.
-winii-chan
Shonelle:)@ 3:42am 01-26-2009
I'd have to say that you pretty much owned Meyer's ass, and this made me smile.
Thank you for this.
<3
shonelle_S T A R D U S T
Sublime_nightmare13@ 11:23pm 01-25-2009
Bravo!!! *claps* very well said i loved it :D"!!
Sylvine@ 4:05pm 01-25-2009
PS: though one thing I have to say: Meyer may be a terrible writer - or, no, the books may be terrible books - but she's the one earning millions of greens with them just as we rant. In that respect, she deserves at least a slightest bit of respect. Her fans, however...

~Sylv

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